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It’s cards on the table time.  I don’t like it when my Australian politicians beat around the bush and I’ve had enough of it here in the stitching groups.

For years I have been stalked by a pest named Ellen Lee.  She also goes under names like Angelica Creates, Angelica’s Beads etc.

I first met Ellen online many years ago and she seemed really nice, really sweet, a harmless, poor sweet lady who got a bit befuddled now and then.  So I was nice to her.  I sent her a RAK, she sent me a RAK. And I got myself a stalker.

I’d mention I bought a chart, so she would buy that chart. I found some gorgeous new fabric, well next minute she bought some of that fabric. I joined a new stitching group and within hours or a day, Ellen had joined.

Then Ellen and I had a falling out.  I asked Ellen onlist, why she was asking people to buy her fabric because she’s so poor when she posted on another list the same day crowing about a dozen charts she’s just bought?  Ellen emailed me and asked me why I was being so mean?  She emailed the moderators and asked that I be booted off that group.

But onlist the stalker behaviour continued. Even today, if I buy a chart, Ellen just has to buy it or gush over it. If I join a group, she joins it within hours, only now she emails the owners and moderators and telling them how mean I am to her and would they protect her from me?  I know this because over the years some have outright asked me about it. I have not had a offlist discussion with Ellen in at least five years. All onlist discussion is polite, civil, even jovial.

I do continue to politely question Ellen when she cries poor in group but crows about her latest purchases in another.  You see, I do not know who Ellen is. On one group she says she has bought two dozen charts in a sale, in another group she says she has been on a stash diet for three months and can’t afford any of the new charts she adores, in another group, she’s too busy to shop because she’s stitching a commission.  In all the years I have known Ellen online I have never seen one photo of her stitching. But in at least one group at a time she’s always wishing she could afford what someone else has.

I have a lot of personal misgivings about Ellen as a person. I personally believe she is a scam artist. I do not believe she is a stitcher. I believe she talks a great game to con people into feeling sorry for her and to send her stitching related materials which she can then sell. She is an Amazon registered seller and has had an eBay account. I do not have proof of any specific incidents. I do not intend to sway anyone else’s minds. I am telling you my state of mind – laying my cards on the table.

Despite my misgivings, I do not contact Ellen offlist and I felt I treated her well on lists, and professionally when I am a moderator.  If her emails conform to the rules of the lists I let the emails through. If the emails break the rules of the lists, I delete them.  Over 75% of her emails to the TSS RAK Group I co-moderated broke the rules of the list because she asked the list members to contact her offlist and/or she asked for everything the person was offering to re-home instead of specifying one or two items. Her emails were deleted by all three moderators. Every other email went through to the list.

Yesterday morning Kay Jones and I (co-moderators of the RAK group) were accused by the The Stitching Specialist group owner, Abi, of persecuting Ellen on the TSS RAK Group.  I had not spoken to Abi about any of the above, so I presume Ellen had done her usual play nice to everyone onlist and stab me in the back offlist with the owners.

The RAK Group. Just to clear things up. Abi didn’t want the RAK Group. Kay had to beg her for weeks into letting her set up, Abi was a member from the start, however, she nominated Kay, Nancy and myself to run it. She never asked to be a moderator or owner and rarely posted.  She intimated to the other Moderators that she was happy with the way the group was running and was happy to let things carry on.  Her demand to be made owner came as a bolt from the blue yesterday morning as part of the “You and Mel are persecuting Ellen” email she sent Kay. Our persecution was sending one public email each congratulating Ellen on receiving a RAK.

Abi who Kay thought was her best friend. Abi and Kay best friends.  Until Kay invited me to TSS and Ellen joined within hours.

In my anger, yesterday, I booted Ellen Lee from the Allstitchers group list (which I co-own with two others). It was the first and only time I have ever taken punitive action against Ellen for all of the damage she has done to me and my friends over these years. She has been banned from Allstitchers but that decision and action was not taken by me. I was too busy having a pity party for myself and Kay.

Ellen has many many friends on the stitching groups. I know I’m going to receive hate mail on this one. Despite personal misgivings, I always treat Ellen well. I do however, delete Ellen’s begging posts before they reach the list when I am moderator and I question them onlist in places when I am a member. This may slow down the amount of stuff people send her out of pity.  This may be the real persecution she feels. Not any malice on my part, just an obstacle in her business plan.

I am so unbelievably sad at the number of friendships this woman breaks in her scamming.

Read this, hate me if you want, but there’s my view. There’s my cards. There’s the honest, unvarnished truth as I see it.

I just wish Ellen would go away.  At the least, leave me and my friends alone.

10 Comments

    • Tina
    • Posted 6 March 2012 at 10:34
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    I am so sorry you have had to endure this bullshit. I stood up for you privately to the mods on TSS and I’m sure I will be watched now, in case I say something that might offend Gollum, er, Ellen. My way of coping with her on the various stitching groups is to ignore her. Like you, I’ve watched her plead poverty in one group, then crow about all the charts she just bought at the latest HAED sale on another. There’s something “off” about her and it’s not just because she’s befuddled. Thanks to her engineering, your name is mud. Well maybe we should do what Bob suggested and re-christen Allstitchers as Allbitches. And then we can be selectively undemocratic (since according to him, we already are).

    Hugs

    • Audrey
    • Posted 6 March 2012 at 10:45
    • Permalink

    There is a lady here at my job, who is a real nutjob too. It can be very very sad to be exposed to toxic people Good luck and ignore her.
    Best wishes
    A

  1. I’m sorry but she really is a troll of the worst kind. I’ve seen her playing games for far too many years and hearing her cry foul constantly is grating. I too, elect to ignore her, especially when she is begging and obviously is blagging. I’ve never seen a single piece she has stitched – no Flickr, Tumblr, blog or even group albums so I’m sure she isn’t a stitcher. After all, there isn’t a stitcher alive who doesn’t like to brag even a tiny bit.

    Asking for everything someone is rehoming is greedy. Begging for charts and fabric when you are perfectly able to buy it is selfish and manipulative. Lying about it is beneath contempt. What about re-homing some of this ill gotten loot to charity appeals and local shelters? That will give you a far better warm fuzzy feeling than blagging.

    Now I really am as poor as a church mouse at the moment. I don’t even have money for a postage stamp, let alone a chart. I don’t publicise this as I feel it is wrong to beg. The fact that I have run out of beads on a project has led to me begging on FB tonight and I feel really bad about it. I didn’t want to but it is the only way I can get this project finished for someone else.

    It galls me to see someone like Ellen behaving as she does especially when she does not enter the spirit of the deal. I made a concious decision not to join RAK groups because of my financial state and knowing I could not reciprocate properly. To cynically join and exploit the genuine kindness of others just makes me incredibly angry and sad.

    Time to get off my soapbox and go to bed!

    • Sisu
    • Posted 6 March 2012 at 14:16
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    I have had issues with her as well. And many of the same doubts and suspicions. When I brought them to the attention of the list mod in that group, I was told I was completely misunderstanding her and to not be so mean. So I left that group. Then after her private e-mails to me telling me what bigot I was (really? Where did that come from?), I just stopped paying any attention to her.
    It does sadden me that the whole thing has turned friend against friend. I have been in the middle of these maelstroms before and it is disheartening place to be.

    • Karen R in GA
    • Posted 7 March 2012 at 01:20
    • Permalink

    And you know that I’ve had run-ins with her as well, which is why, after the last one, I told her flat out to ignore completely anything I post, do not contact me on- or off-list – which is when she came boo-hooing to you.

    I really wish I knew what her deal is; the fact that she’s a sad, lonely person is apparent, but why all this other stuff? I don’t get it, and I cringe when she shows up in my other groups, too – because, as per her MO, she disappears for months at a time, then shows up and bombards the list only with her opinions of other peoples’ comments, starts a bunch of crap couched in sugary sweetness, then sends a personal e-mail or two to various people, then disappears again, when her fishing doesn’t get her anything? I don’t know. She hasn’t shown up in TheSamplerLife for a WHILE now, so I assume she got shut down there by total lack of response. I e-mailed Marc Davis about her when she joined that group, just a cautionary note; to date, she hasn’t created any havoc there – but I’m not counting her out yet.

    I’m so sorry that you & Kay have had to deal with this, and that it has come to this – I have so enjoyed your livening up the TSS posts and sparking some really good conversation. I hope I didn’t miss any on the digests that I had to delete because when I initially scanned them, I saw numerous entries from AngelicaCreates or AngelicaBeads. There is something wrong with this person, and there are enough of us who have history with her, that you & Kay trying to get a handle on her IS fully justified and well within your rights as MODS and as fellow human beings…

    Abi saw through the insanity that was Crazy Julie in Cincinnati (and Yes Dear) – this should have been a similar situation, and handled similarly; granted, there is no EVIDENCE that she’s done anything, unlike in Julie’s case, but the fact that there isn’t any is almost evidence in itself when you consider the history….

    • Karen – at least Julie is openly bi-polar! Her worst behaviour is when she is on an upswing. With Ellen, I think there is a whole agenda behind the facade.

    • Tobie
    • Posted 7 March 2012 at 19:46
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    I do appreciate your explanation of the situation and know it couldn’t have been easy for you to do. I have to admit that I’ve been suspicious at times that Ellen is either too broke to buy any stash or is buying so much that she’ll never be able to do them all, but isn’t that a common problem among us? I’ve often thought that she might be bipolar and that could explain some of her behavior. As you said, however, I’ve only heard one side of the story. I had wondered why Karen had left and now have a better understanding of her situation. I don’t belong to all of the groups that some of you do, so that may be why I didn’t know all of what was going on. Thank you for your explanation. I’ll have to digest this and think about what I’m going to do.

    Tobie in So. Cal.

    • Dudley
    • Posted 9 March 2012 at 09:46
    • Permalink

    So sorry you are going through this Mel, I’ve been a victim of unfair treatment too…I won’t go into details because fortunately it didn’t make it to the main body of any groups, but it stings to be unfairly accused of something when you know in your heart you didn’t do anything wrong. I will miss your banter in the group, you have been so much fun. I hope you will one day be rid of Ellen Lee.

    • Lana
    • Posted 10 March 2012 at 11:26
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    Hi, Mel!

    I was so sorry to get your e-mail in the TSS group. I had been wondering what had been going on, but didn’t want to intrude in an issue that wasn’t mine. Thank you soooooo much for your explanation of what happened.

    I will miss your humor in the group and your enabling spirit. I am glad that I am follower on your blog so that I can keep up with you and what is going on in your life.

    BTW, I was thinking of giving Deb that Queen of Enablers crown permanently. ;o)

    Continuing to shake her pompoms for you,

    Lana

  2. Oh, Mel and Kay, I’m so sorry this happened. I don’t generally pay attention to any of the drama stuff that happens online so I wasn’t aware of the full extent of this situation. I’ve always felt uncomfortable with Ellen’s posts and have just mainly avoided her. I’m sorry Abi and Bob have gotten sucked into the whole thing without full disclosure. Hang in there, ladies, you know we all still love you!!


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